Thursday, 14 February 2013

Happy Valentine Morgenstern day

The title of this post is a joke. Unfortunately, anyone who hasn’t read Mortal Instruments (otherwise known as most of the world) won’t get it.
But believe me, it’s pretty funny.
Soooo yeah I don’t really get the point of this day, because the only purpose it seems to serve is to make all us relationshipless peeps feel like saddo loners. While all the couples at school spend this day being all romantic lovey-dovey and giving each other flowers and reciting terrible poetry, the rest of us are all ‘FOREVER ALONE!’ and just cry hysterically in a corner.
It doesn’t help when your stunningly beautiful best friend can’t come over to have a LOTR movie marathon with you because she is off with boyfriend number 57.
So you get to sit all alone at home in a pile of rejectedness.
Because sure, I’d love to spend my time on a date with my boyfriend. I’m guessing it would be ab-so-lute-ly lovely.
Unfortunately, he lives in 18th Century England. Which could easily be solved with my time machine, but wait, no it couldn’t, because there is yet another obstacle in the way of our love.
He’s not even a real person.
So unless any one knows a Silvertongue (no? no takers?) I am pretty much stuffed.
So instead of sinking further into the pit of depression as I opened the door to let my elder sister’s boyfriend in, laden with roses and chocolates as he was, I decided I must do something about this.
So I decided to look up gifs of cats with lightsabers.
Because that makes everything better.
And also Squirrels.

I also found this somewhere among the dusty corners of the internet and this is also a joke, though it also won’t make sense unless you have read The Mortal Instruments (which you really all should)

 And now my short stint in the land of sadliness is over, and I am going to go write fanfics about me and Will Herondale on a date together in, oh, I don’t know, some romantic planet where my other boyfriend, The Doctor, is going to take us. (The Doctor and I can go on a Valentine’s Day date whenever we want – these are the perks of having a Timelord boyfriend.)
So Toodle-pip!

Monday, 11 February 2013

The Phone Call of DESTINY

I had all but given up on him. Waiting for over a month for a single call does not do good things for a girl. Also I was starting to fell all needy and stereotypically teenagerish, jumping for my mobile every time it rang and being all ‘ohmigosh it might be him!’ and then crying tears of pain when it wasn’t.
So yaah he called and I didn’t even check caller ID because I assumed it would be Ruby, because this was the momentous Day that she was going to attempt to dye her hair lilac, and she had told me about ten minutes ago she would call back in ten minutes.
So I was on TOR and was highly distracted when the phone rang, so I just picked it up and shoved it to my ear, my witty and seductive opening line being:
‘So did it work or does it look terrible? And be quick about it please because I think I’m about to enter a full scale battle here and my character’s health is way down, so I’m kinda stressed.’
Silence from the other end of the line.
‘Ummm Ruru? You there? Is your hair really that bad?’
Then came the sound of someone clearing their throat. A decidedly masculine someone.
‘Oh cheesecakes, you’re not Ruby are you? Wow that’s awkward.’
'Hey.’ the stranger said.
‘Hey.’ I replied.
[insert awkward silence here]
‘Umm so, it’s me, Teddy, remember me, from the shopping centre? And yeah, um hi.’
But I didn’t because I’m not weird.
Not that weird, at least.
So instead I just casually went, ‘Oh yeah, the Sith, I remember you. Hey.’
[insert more awkward silence here]
‘So, um, we’re doing another thing pretty soon … it’s not actually a demonstration, it’s for some kid’s birthday party …. we’re getting paid for it, and the parents want as many of us to come as possible. So Thalia said to call and invite you and your friend. We have extra Jedi stuff if you need it….’
I silently pumped my fist in the air, danced around my room and screamed for joy.
Then I realised that all this celebrating had gone on for some time and it would probably be best to actually reply.
‘Oh yeah, that’d be pretty cool. We won’t need any cosplay stuff though. Ruby already has just normal Jedi clothes, and I, well actually I should probably check this is okay, but I have an Aayla Secura outfit … is that fine to wear? Because it just seemed that all of you guys had just normal stuff on apart from Darth Maul.’
I heard him kind of laugh, I think it may have been at the fact that I had an Aayla Secura outfit (hey it’s not my fault that my all-time favourite Starwars character has an aversion to clothes. Anyway, I’m painted blue, so it’s not like anything you can see is my actual skin) but he regained his composure and replied.
‘That was just because we wanted to appear more normal in the shopping centre. Everyone goes pretty all out for these other sort of things though. We get Kit Fitso’s, Clone Troopers, Emperors, pretty much everyone. My actual costume isn’t even a Jedi …. I’m, uh, Jango Fett.’
‘Jango Fett? I’m impressed. That is pretty darn cool. One of my friends was set on getting a Boba costume for some time, but they just cost so darn much. He ended up being Quinlan Vos in the end.’
Then the shining light of brilliance fell upon me.
‘Hey, would it be okay for me to bring another friend or two, apart from just Ruby? ‘Cause I know a few people who would probs be willing to help out.’
‘Yeah, that’d be fine, we’re getting paid per person, so it won’t change the amount of cash we receive. So … from the sound of things, you’re coming?’
‘Hopefully, just give me the deets and I’ll check it all out.’
So I got times, dates and addresses, and now it is official.
I am going to see him again in another two weeks.
Admittedly with a bunch of my friends and half his grade in tow, but still ….

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

I Have Found a New Love

I have found a new love. No longer will I harp after poor disillusioned Teddy. Who needs him? Certainly not I. Tobias, Peeta and Augustus – I’m sorry. We can no longer be together. I may still keep up my side relationships with The Doctor and Will Herondale, but all other romantic ties must be cut to create space for my recently discovered other half.
Specifically, Super Junior and SHINee.
Specifically Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk.
And they can also sing, dance and act.
Question: why is there no English speaking bands that manage to combine all these talents? Except for, of course, Jedward, all others fail (I’m sorry Ed and Adam; I still love youse. Anyways you guys aren’t even bands.)
But yaah back on topic (excuse tangents) Rubes and I were just casually trawling the internet (as you do) and ended up on a Girls Generation video (which is also vaguely decent) which then took us to a Super Junior video.
And I instantly fell in love.
Ruru totally didn’t get it. She was all ‘I’m sorry, but I just don’t find them attractive at all.’
And I was like ‘Oh, but I totally do.’
According to her, they all look slightly like chicks, ‘cuz of the really fine bone structure and occasional long hair. My answer to that is that they may not be hot ….. in fact the best word to describe them appearance wise is most likely beautiful, which feels weird to say about guys, though it’s true, but lordy, are they good looking.
Cept the best looking out of all of them (and also, in my opinion, the best singer) is Kyuhyun, who is SO CUTE *fangirl spazzes*
Except on par of how much I am in love with them, he’s level with Eunhyuk, who, originally, I was not at all sure if he was attractive or not, but then I watched a few of the videos, and he’s the lead dancer, right, and he’s ABSOLUTLEY INCREDIBLE. Like, I mean his dancing is ah-ma-zing. And then, magically he just became half a million times more attractive because of that fact, and also, when I was watching youtube videos of interviews and stuff they are all SO NICE. And maybe it’s because of the different customs in Korea, and maybe the translation down the bottom was the politest version of Korean or something but ahhhhh I love them so much.The other band who I think is pretty and also pretty cool, is SHINee. Their name is cooler. The best of their songs is Sherlock, which also has a pretty cool video clip, and Hello is also pretty good, though somewhat cheesy. I don’t know any of the actual band members names, as I don’t stalk them quite as possessively as the guys from Super Junior. There was one bit, in the Sherlock video clip, where I had a total Jem moment, because one of the guys was sitting on a chair with a violin in his lap, so I was forced to freeze frame it and cry silently as I remembered the pain which both Jem and Will are most likely shortly going to experience.
So if you think music in a different language is cool (and believe me, the songs are really catchy) you should check it out. The best Super Junior songs are Mr Simple and Break Down, though Only You is very, very cute and they are all even more beautiful than usual (though unfortunately Eunhyuk doesn’t make an appearance). If you are on the lookout for the beautiful Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk, to make it easier, I have taken the liberty of creating this beautiful image. Eunhyuk is the one with the silver hair, and Kyuhyun is the SUPERCUTE one.
SHINee’s most notable songs are, as I said before, Sherlock and Hello, but Sherlock has a tres awesome video clip, and the best looking guy in it is the one who wears the top hat and Harry Potter glasses.
So yaah.
Not quite sure of how to finish all this off so I’m just going to leave now and go one youtube so I can watch more Korean music.
Cuz I’m just cool that way.

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Cast List of My Life

I thought I should probably do something like this for clarification, so that when I mention someone who I’ve never actually told you about before you can come back to this and be all ‘ahhh, so that’s  who that is.’
Yeah … so this is the major people and other randoms who torture me daily with their presence (and some of whom torture me daily by me being without their presence.)

 Me: well duh who I am. I’m me and my name is Jessi Hunt (or at least that’s what I’m telling y’all).
If you don’t know nothing bout me (apart from the fact that my grammar is appalling) read the FIRST THING I EVER POSTED. Ahh I was so young and innocent then …. those were the good old days.

 Ruby: mah bestie. Commonly also referred to as Rubes, Ruby-Rubes, Ruru, or whatever I feel like calling her at that given point in time. It changes. Frequently.  She’s my fellow Nerdfighter, Whovian, Tribute, Demigod, Shadowhunter, Potterhead, and really whatever I feel like being. I am not sure really why she hangs out with me, apart from the fact we relate, because she is beautiful and could be popular but is not because I just bring her down (like the deadweight I am). She still manages to have an impressive string of boyfriends. I think she’s somewhere around number 54 now. She is sometimes not entirely sure about the strange things I do, but she helps me to scale back on the insanity and I help her to live a little.

 Charlie: that other person who I sometimes hang out with when Ruby is away. Also known as Charlotte. Small, mousy, glassered and shy – basically your stereotypical nerdgirl. She is also pretty cool but constantly has no idea what I’m saying, as the only fandoms she follows are Harry Potter and Hunger Games. As well as Twilight. Not that being a Twihard is really a proper fandom. She and I do English together. We basically slack off and watch anime. fun.

 Alice: my older sister. Practically the devil incarnate. She is eighteen and the world revolves around her. Or so she thinks. (how can it revolve around her, when it really revolves around me?) She thinks I am a crime against humanity, as the only branded clothes I wear are Converses and Docs. Mum is always saying that I could be beautiful like her if I wanted to, (which is basically saying that I’m not beautiful at the moment. Yeah, good work there mum.) which I don’t, because that would involve spending huge amounts of time in front of the mirror, precious moments when I could be doing important things like … I don’t know …. playing TOR or reading. It is her life’s mission to make my life hell, which she does by disconnecting my computer from the internet, hacking into all my accounts, (which can be bad and not so bad. Pottermore: wasn’t that bad. She couldn’t really do much damage. If she got her hands on this blog? End of the world as I know it.) hiding alarm clocks under my bed set to go off at three in the morning, and numerous other evil things.

Katy: the devil’s advocate. Six years old. Gets her kicks out of painting my clothes different colours, waking me up by sitting on my head, and repeating everything I say. Code word: annoying. Ruby thinks she’s cute but I know the truth.

Mum and Dad: basically? They’re mum and dad. They make the rules and refuse to give me the huge amounts of money I really, really need.

 Theodore: That incredibly cute guy I met during ‘the battle for the shopping centre.’ (read for more info). He gave me his number and I gave him mine. That was over a month ago. I’m still waiting for him to call L

 Thalia: Ruby and I also met her during ‘the battle for the shopping centre.’ I think she thinks I’m a little strange (or more than a little) she and Ruby hit it off pretty well though. Hopefully we end up being friends as I really don’t know that many people and this way if I go through with my re-creation of Eragon (because the actual movie was terrible) I need more people to fill up my cast list.

 John: That guy I wasted 8 months of my life on. Funny story that. Have to tell you sometime. (or not)

 Fletcher: That guy Ruby wasted about 8 minutes of her life on. And he was the nicer of the two. I’m kinda friends with him … we say hi in hallways and stuff. Technically we are also in a band together (probs more on that later)

 Alec: Fletcher’s friend who was also part of our band for the short time it existed. Played guitar/electric guitar. He’s pretty cool but I don’t see him much ‘cuz he goes to a different school to me.

 That is basically it … little sad really, looking at my amount of friends (which is stunningly huge) I’m not one of those super-popular peeps whose list would be fifty bazillion pages long. Not that I want to be. What would I do with all those friends? I’d probably forget their names.