I apologise because I am a horrible person who should be destroyed.
Yes, I haven’t written anything for aggggggggges.
But you have to understand that I’ve been drowning in a blogging hole of depression, lying on my floor writhing around and going
‘ugghhhhhh. Why do I even botherrrr? It’s not like anyone even reads this junk …. oh god no one caresss about my screwed up life.’
But, apparently, people do. Or, at least, one of my awkward internet friends, who lets call Rose shall we, she does.
SHOUT OUT TO HER she knows who she is.
She wanted to know what happened on the fateful day of the Birthday Party With Tristan.
And I thought if I had to type it all out for her I mays well just tell all you internet randoms as well.
This is how it all happened …
*insert fade-out to black and white footage*
I was totally pumped on the day, dressed up in my Aayla Secura outfit, and I must admit I was looking particularly lovely that day, though admittedly I was also blue.
Ruby was being her usual Padme-ish self, and we were rocking this town.
Basically, the birthday party was epic. There was around 15 of us there, including Tristan in his super-good-looking bounty hunter mode.
And long story short (I’m skipping out the rest of it because it gives me too much mental anguish) Tristan is now Ruby’s boyfriend.
Yeah, believe me you don’t want to know.
What’s that I hear? You do?
Well, okay then, I’ll relent.
But I warn you it’s horrific.
Well so there I am in my happy little beautiful innocent world at this point in time. Epic party, the little kids all think I’m cool even though the majority of them have no idea who I am, and one guy asked if I was meant to be the fat blue guy from doctor who (like, what the actual hell. Just because we’re both blue.)
So I was talking to this little girl who was around six years old, and incredibly cute. And I was feeling pretty pro because I had acquired the best kid at the party.
So Tristan and I were having a conversation while this kid was busy sitting on my shoulders eating an icecream.
And now some of you begin to see where this is going.
Yeah, she dropped it onto my head.
Which managed to not only destroy a few hundred pounds worth of costume, but also was basically social suicide.
So I excused myself rather quickly and washed it off my head and couldn’t bear to go back so i just went home.
And I had to catch the tube in an Aayla Secura outfit.
Luckily I was unrecognisable.
But that happened about a month and a bit ago and I haven’t talked to him since, though he did call a couple of times, because every time I consider it, my mind just plays me a mental video clip of what i would have looked like with a scoop of ice-cream running it’s way down my face.
and then i retreat back to my bedroom and the comfort of the internet.
But yeah moving along to about a week ago, Ruby just turned up at my house with this totally ditzed out smile on her face and casually announced that she and Tristan were now an item.
She didn’t know I had any interest in him because I am one of those social awkwards who can’t communicate their feelings, but still.
So yeah. There it is.
Now I just have to continue to live in the eternal hope that I’ll somehow get married to either Dan Howell or Phil Lester and then she’ll be jealous.
Let’s just go with that.